Christian dating non believer
The imagery is of two incompatible oxen sharing the same yoke.Instead of working together to pull the load, they would be working against each other." Answer: For a Christian, dating a non-Christian is unwise, and marrying one is not an option.Second Corinthians (KJV) tells us not to be “unequally yoked” with an unbeliever.So, for the first hour of our first date, I sat reed-like on the comfy couch, using only the six inches at its end to support my weight, while he lounged next to me chatting easily.Over wine and Chimays, we talked about our undergraduate degrees, learning that we both majored in anthropology after dropping out of pre-med programs.
As the night wore on, my up-rightness began to wilt, my spine beginning to curve into the cushions behind me. "If I were tall, male and half-Korean, I would be TD!But here, sitting at the table across from me, was someone who was both of these things and still avowed his faith. Maybe, like my friends, I had been scared off by too many sound bites on the television or documentaries like Jesus Camp. These serve as reminders that I am still a participant-observer in all of this and may always be.A month later we found ourselves at my apartment, late on a work night, having the kind of conversation that can only be fueled by early-relationship electricity. Question: How do you feel about raising kids in the city? And then, seduced by the hour and the darkness and the invincible feeling of compatibility, I blurted out the one thing that had been on my mind since that second date. I let go of his hand, sat up and shut my eyes tight, willing myself to handle this like the adult I was trying so hard to be."Well," I started, trying to sound completely unaffected by this news, "then I need you to really think about it. "After months of dating, he hadn't tried to "turn" me and I was getting to a point where that felt weirder than if he had. on Sunday night, when we would part ways and I would be left to eat alone in my apartment. I've accompanied him every Sunday since and now, nearly a year later, I can muddle through the liturgy without the aid of the program. Recently, I asked TD if it was annoying, this constant explaining he has to do with me. " I asked."It helps me articulate my faith in a way I've never had to do before.As he lay next to me on the couch, sleepy from too much wine, I fired off questions: Question: Do you want to get married? Question: Is the fact that I'm not a Christian going to be a problem? Because if it is going to be a problem, I need to end this now. When we met up again later that night, it was as though I had missed out on a huge part of his day in those few hours—and missed out on a huge part of him as a result. Still, there are often things TD has to elucidate for me (What is Calvinism? Would it be easier if he was dating someone who knew this stuff already? Soul Mates: 10 Steps To A Spiritual Relationship"No. It makes me accountable to it."So what I've learned is this: I don't necessarily have to share his faith to share in his faith. What I do with my thoughts on theology is my decision, my path, my journey, just as it was his. And while I don't know what I think about Jesus or the Bible just yet, what I do know is that I am in love with a man who is smart, full of courage, funny and, yes, faithful. It seems stupid to continue only to get to a place six months or a year down the road where we find ourselves at fundamental odds over something we both knew was an issue from the start." You, Me And God: Interfaith Relationships TD paused. I'll take that into consideration." Then he kissed me, and I knew he wasn't going anywhere. As I found myself excitedly listing TD's exceptional boyfriend qualifications (smart, funny, kind, articulate, Ivy-educated) to friends and family, I simultaneously found myself explaining that he was "also Christian." I tacked this last part on as quickly and sheepishly as I would have had he accidentally killed his parents while playing with matches as a child. Finally, one night, he asked me to go to church with him. It's not important that we agree on everything all the time, but rather that we challenge each other, and that out of that challenge we both grow. Despite our different upbringings, I think we can make it.
It was just after the entrees arrived that TD mentioned casually that he was a Christian and attended a church near my neighborhood in Brooklyn.